


One Step at a Time

by starmelee



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Redemption AU, Slightly surreal, THIS IS VERY CHEESY, and I'm sorry, and very short, being depresso is just like that sometimes, but this is a gift and for you who it is for... you're great, for anyone reading this... you're also great, i guess this could be roxas/vanitas if you want it to be, vanitas deserves love okay?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-18 08:49:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21941419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starmelee/pseuds/starmelee
Summary: Vanitas wouldn't say he's addicted to the darkness, but in his new heart, he knows that he is. Visiting the Realm of Darkness in his moments of weakness are the only way he's found to cope, but someone else has other plans for where Vani should go when he really needs help.
Relationships: Roxas & Vanitas
Comments: 3
Kudos: 29





	One Step at a Time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kaddi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaddi/gifts).



> I just want to start this off with a lorge "I LOVE YOU" to my friend who is wonderful and amazing. No offense, but I'm really happy your initial draft of that fic you were writing decided that you needed a new friend to gush about Kingdom Hearts with, and I'm really glad that we got to be friends. You're an inspiration to me, and I'm immensely honored to have the privilege to talk about Riku's odd Christmas traditions and his secretly pining for his best friend in any AU imaginable. My IRL friends are probably so sick of me getting excited whenever I see that you've sent me a message, but I can't help it. Merry Christmas!
> 
> Anyway, some light context: I feel like darkness has multiple effects on those who use its power of their own volition, but what about someone who was born from darkness in its entirety? Someone who only knows what it's like to be surrounded in darkness... it would be difficult to break away from that, no matter how good they want to be. This isn't in Vanitas's point of view, but it's something that Roxas is realizing for the first time.
> 
> Enjoy!

Vanitas was sitting down in his room, staring out of the window when Roxas found him. His hands were covering his mouth, almost as if to keep himself from making a sound, and his eyes were simply staring out into the fast sky that surrounded the Mysterious Tower. The day when they would be leaving and going back to their own worlds was slowly approaching, but Roxas knew that Vanitas had no clue where he wanted to go. Not that he would-- he wasn’t really friends with anyone, most of the people from the Land of Departure didn't care for him very much, sans Ventus who really just wanted what was best for him (not that Vanitas believed that). 

Roxas stood in the doorway for as long as he could, but sighed when he noticed that something was absolutely bothering Vanitas. At this point, the other boy would have at least turned around to face him. However, Vanitas sat at his silent vigil, the endless night being the only thing capturing his attention. Roxas slowly moved toward him, hesitance in each of his steps. Usually Vani was never so quiet. 

When Roxas managed to make it almost in front of him, he saw the emptiness in Vanitas’s eyes-- a cold, echoing sensation of understanding and pain seemed to almost stab him, knocking the breath out of him. He looked like… like him. In his first days in the organization. 

“Vani,” Roxas whispered, reaching out a hand against his better judgement. Everything was telling him to run and never look back; everything except for his heart, which told him that Vanitas needed someone to bring him back from wherever he was. However, when Roxas took another step forward, he felt himself sink as a cold sensation rose to his ankles. A surge of negative emotion shot through him as a flood rose from the spot just next to him, but he ignored the creature in favor of trudging his way to Vanitas’s side. 

It was a pool of darkness, and Roxas was determined to not fall in.

However, his next step had him plunging straight into a pool of darkness, and his short scream was cut off as the thickened water flowed around him, into his mouth, clogging his senses with powerful negativity and all-consuming hopelessness. 

The heavy sensation of darkness on his tongue was not one he was unfamiliar with. It stuck unpleasantly to any available surface in his mouth, encapsulated his throat in a borderline suffocating way. He could barely breathe, but that didn't matter here. Darkness did not care if you could think, or breathe; darkness didn't care about anything except for what caused you pain and fear. 

He slowly sank until his back was hit with a rush of cool air, followed by his body falling until he slammed against what felt like sand. Roxas sat there, dazed, hands splayed out at his sides until he could get enough of a grip on himself to open his eyes. 

Above him were clouds of swirling grey and black, purple light seeping through and crackling dangerously. The sand below him was coarse, but not salty. Sitting up, he looked around. 

“I’ve been here…” he muttered, trying to remember where he’d seen this shore before.

“Roxas?”

His head snapped up and he looked around. “Vanitas?” 

"What are you doing here?" A figure emerged from the shadow in the corner of Roxas's vision, tall and proud. There was liquid rolling off of his body, black against the pale expanse of skin Roxas was just seeing for the first time. Vanitas never removed his jacket. "This is the realm of darkness, you shouldn't be here."

"The realm- Vanitas, what are you doing here?" Roxas came to a stand, brushing the coarse sand off of his black and white plaid pajama pants and his white T-shirt. "I swear I just saw your body in your room, staring out of the window like how you usually brood at three in the morning. There was a pool of darkness at your feet and I- I fell in. What is going on?" The question was laiden with concern, Roxas's brows knit together as he tried to decipher what was happening. 

Vani's eyes narrowed, then he rolled them and scoffed, turning to look at the rolling, inky sea. "Our bodies aren't here, then. Our hearts are. I… the realm of darkness is comfortable for me." His voice took an odd quality, one that Roxas had never heard from him before. 

"How so?" He stepped up to meet Vanitas in the sand, sinking slightly with each movement. It was surprisingly warm, all things considered. He wondered absently if the water felt like the inky black ooze that sometimes emerged from Vanitas's eyes after a nightmare, or if it felt like real water. 

"I am the half of Ventus that is darkness. My life was formed around such an idea. Just because I'm… whatever I am compared to who I was doesn't mean that I can just forget that part of myself." Roxas watched Vani's hands twist together, almost like Vani was displaying just how much Roxas's stomach was twisting at the thought of him feeling like the realm of darkness was the only place he had to turn to. 

"It's because I can't forget that part of myself that I come here to keep control of it, to keep it from making me insane when I don't have enough." Vanitas's voice was a hushed whisper, narrowed vision looking out over the black ocean. His eyes were yellow, like the light of a lighthouse, and suddenly, Roxas knew he'd been feeling the same way. 

"I understand," Roxas said quietly, reaching out and touching Vanitas's shoulder, slowly pulling his eyes from the horizon and forcing Vanitas to look into his eyes. Somehow, Roxas knew precisely how it felt and he wouldn't let his companion drown. "What now?"

"I… I'll send you back-"

"No, what now? Here?"

Vanitas closed his eyes and sighed, "I guess we can watch the water, or something."

Roxas smiled at his opening eyes. "That sounds good. Is it like, pure darkness or is it real water? Can you drink it?"

"Uh…” He hesitated, almost as if he hadn’t expected Roxas to keep a conversation. “I don't think so? I wouldn't try. Anyway, it's like thickened water. You can swim in it, but you won't float." As darkness seemed to usually work; in Roxas's experience, anyway.

It was awkward, but Roxas expected that. They sat and talked for what felt like hours before they decided to go back to their “bodies,” or whatever it was that Vanitas may have meant. Roxas was pretty sure he’d sunk all the way into the darkness, but when his eyes blinked open and he was laying on the floor, a flood poking at his nose, he knew that maybe his heart was the only thing that strayed. 

Vanitas stood up above him and offered his hand, waiting for Roxas to take it so he could pull him up. “We will never speak of this,” he growled, but Roxas knew better than to be intimidated. 

“Of course not,” Roxas put his hands up in mock surrender, smirking, “Never on my life would I dare.”

Vanitas turned and looked back out of the window, eyes somewhere else but Roxas could feel his heart thrumming right beside him. 

“I’ll help you move past this,” Roxas found himself saying, gingerly, “we’ll get by this together. And maybe we can come out on the other side as better people. For the ones we care about and want to care about.” 

Their hands found each other and clasped, and suddenly they were much stronger than they had been before.


End file.
